Friday, May 21, 2010

Thankful Thursday?

So.. it's Thursday. And it seems as if this Thursday is one of those days it is SO hard to count your blessings.

I'm sorry, but I'm going to vent a little. I honestly haven't struggled this bad in a long time. I have a mind that really dwells on things that upset me, and I will 'beat a dead horse' over and over again trying to a)figure out what I did wrong b)what could have been done differently and c)overthinking to the point-where the thought crosses my mind "Is this really about me? Is it something deeper?"



A coworker basically flipped a lid on me yesterday. The day before something little happened, but she just couldn't move on. She has a pattern of doing this, and it's usually when her home life is distraught.. The thing I'm struggling with is--why does it always come out on me?
I was a part of the trigger action that made crap hit the fan. Over the course of 48 hours, things blew out of proportion so drastically...
I realize, and I will admit- yes, there's always things in each situation that could be done differently/better. But people also make mistakes, and the simple ones should be the easiest to forgive, right?
It takes 2 people to make a right, and it also takes 2 to make a wrong. Although I could have acted a little differently, so could she. And it takes 2 people to forgive, and move on like adults.
This woman is 45+, and she runs me around like I'm in high school, no, middle school again. It is emotionally draining. (This is the 3rd time in a year this has happened.)
Please don't think I'm bashing her, or saying it's not my fault... but I just can't believe it is 100%, or even 2% my fault. We worked together last weekend-things were fine. We worked together Monday-things were fine. Wednesday, like I said earlier, crap hit the fan. She does have drama at home (her son has special learning needs, her husband has run them into financial trouble, and her daughter/grandkids who just got back from base in Germany are refusing to talk to her, and she doesn't know why), and my heart goes out to her. I've been praying soo hard for my heart to soften, for my ability to forgive her, and for her well-being. As HARD as those prayers are to get out- I'm doing it. The one thing I can't understand, or seem to find peace with is that I really do honestly feel like it's not my fault---and that all of these trials she has is landing on me.
It ended yesterday with her walking out, saying she 'really needed to rethink this job situation.'

Have any of you had a coworker continually take things out on you? How do you emotionally move on?
Is it my burden to bear? Is it really my fault?? I feel so stuck.


I am thankful for my husband, who let me vent to him... but, bless his heart- he didn't have much console for me. He did a wonderful job of comforting me, I just wish I could blow it off and not think about it anymore like he advised me. (this picture was from before we were even engaged!)


I am thankful for my best friend, who is always there for me -- good times and bad.. and always has a refreshing taste of honesty and uplifting comments. (she's on the right; the other one was my college roommate.)


I am thankful for my warm fuzzy robe that I have been curled up in since last night.



Sorry if this post bummed anyone out.. I just needed to get it out, and any comments are especially welcome. I hope you all have a wonderful Thursday!

6 comments:

d.a.r. said...

I wish I had some advice, but I really don't. Those situations really suck.

My mom has always said something to me, and it kind of bubbled up in my head as I was reading your post: "you can't control what other people do/say, you can only control how much you let it affect you."

Here's to hoping you can let it roll off your back. Ultimately, it is about her, and her ugly reaction is just a symptom of things that she is dealing with and not anything wrong with you. Hang in there...

♥ sarahbeth. said...

aw i love the idea of a thankful thursday! so sweet!

i have been having drama with a co-worker this week too! fortunately for me, she put in her two weeks today! haha

sorry, i know that doesn't help you out. but it's what i'm thankful for today lol! xoxo

aLiCia* said...

Hope by this week, things have gotten better!!!

Blake said...

I am ALWAYS here to help! At least that is ALWAYS my intent! Like I said, "Just don't say anything you'll regret!". I am sure you'll find resolve with the whole thing soon enough, and you will look back on it and laugh...

You'll blink your eyes, and it will be the past! Learn from your mistakes, and keep on keepin on!

Kassie said...

I'm really sorry about all that. :( Wish I could help. It's awful sometimes!

OceanDreams said...

Hey love, I've been struggling with some of these same situations with my roommates and work colleagues, it really has brought my self esteem down and made me very sad. But I'm learning to stay positive, not let their problems become mine, rise above it, and continue to trust in a God that truly loves you. Hang in there, xoxo!

Just Dating...

Just Dating...

Engagement Weekend

Engagement Weekend
The night before he proposed in Kansas City, what an AWESOME weekend!

Engagement Picture

Engagement Picture
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Another Engagement Picture

Another Engagement Picture
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Giggles...

Giggles...
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The Day Before Our Wedding!

The Day Before Our Wedding!

Newlyweds!!

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Manti Temple

Manti Temple
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My Wedding Gift to Buck...

My Wedding Gift to Buck...
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Two Days Married!

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Big Chair!

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AH!!

AH!!
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