Wednesday, January 12, 2011

A Change of Plans

WARNING: This is a vent! I had to interrupt scheduled posts for this one.. So bear with me, blog friends and family. This is what blogging is for- a venue to express thoughts. And boy do I have thoughts today.



To be honest, I'm a little freaked out...

I just got back from my 38+ week appointment, and within the last two weeks- our little girl has flipped.

The wrong way.

She had been head down since 28 weeks.. She dropped at 35, 36 she's still head down.. 37 I don't remember...

But I showed up today, and after he checked my cervix (which btw I AM dilating) and then asked the nurse to grab the ultrasound machine. Naturally, I assumed it was just to get a picture and check to make sure her growth or whatever was normal, especially since everything had been right on track- and I hadn't had an ultrasound since 20weeks.

But it was because he was concerned about her positioning- as he told me as the machine loaded up. I tried to take deep breaths and relax and just talk myself into "everything's okay.."
He showed me, she's completely flipped again. I just stared at the screen. I stared at him. I'm 12 days to due date. Really? Is this happening?

He said I'm too small to have a safe vaginal delivery with a breech baby..

The C-section is scheduled for noon next Wednesday.

I guess my Letter of Eviction actually worked.

I left the appointment trying to take deep breaths, and relax..
I went straight to the hospital to talk to Buck. I NEVER bother him at work because of the demands of ICU nursing, but I just showed up, paged him, they sent him out and I busted into tears in his arms...as he was like 'what's wrong?!' and I cried, took a breath and blurted "she's breach!" and cried again.. and he hugged me and asked "what now?" Same pattern, and I blurted "I'm having a c-section next Wednesday!"

Cry Cry Cry

He was soo good, telling me that hey it's just breech, and this will be good! easier on you..we'll know she'll get here safe, hey at least we'll have her this time next week etc etc etc

I know it's not the end of the world. I realize I didn't need to cry and really might have been a little dramatic. I can also see the good in it..
But I'm a planner.. and I was planning on a regular vaginal delivery. I had just wrapped my mind around all the details that go with that, and I was comfortable!

A change of plans from a 12 day countdown to SIX has caught me off guard..

I'm just in shock, and needed to get it out.

Now, I'm off to research c-sections... and get my mind wrapped around it!

This will be good.

And this time next week, she'll be in my arms.

1 comments:

d.a.r. said...

I want to hug you, cry with you and then laugh. I know how scary this is and how hard it is to suddenly have to change all of your plans. But Buck is right--she is JUST breach! She is still healthy and so are you :) So, enjoy knowing that on Wednesday, you are going to be a mommy. Clean the house, pack the bags, there will be no rushing around, etc. At least there is that, right? Yay for silver linings. OMG next week you are going to have your precious wee one IN YOUR ARMS!!! :)

Just Dating...

Just Dating...

Engagement Weekend

Engagement Weekend
The night before he proposed in Kansas City, what an AWESOME weekend!

Engagement Picture

Engagement Picture
This is the picture we sent out on our wedding announcements. :)

Another Engagement Picture

Another Engagement Picture
This is actually one of Buck's faves!

Giggles...

Giggles...
This picture makes me all warm and fuzzy inside! And yes, we are in a phone booth! :)

The Day Before Our Wedding!

The Day Before Our Wedding!

Newlyweds!!

Newlyweds!!
I love this picture, because it was the first right after we got married, you can see how happy we were...

Manti Temple

Manti Temple
Here is where we were able to get married. I had my heels off at this point, so our true heights are showing- hill or not; I'm short!

My Wedding Gift to Buck...

My Wedding Gift to Buck...
Our first day married...My horse was ironically named Gator! :) And yes, I know it's disgusting we match... But I love it.

Two Days Married!

Two Days Married!
You can't look at this picture and NOT laugh... can you?

Big Chair!

Big Chair!
Here we are at Bishop's Castle- now THIS is a LoVeSeaT!

AH!!

AH!!
SO excited to be MARRIED!